Hudson’s Two-rrific

Two years ago I wasn’t at the hospital laboring for my son.  I didn’t hear his first cries or change his first diaper.  I didn’t bundle him up in a “coming home” outfit or tuck him into the crib down the hall.  Two years ago I was in my home thousands of miles away from Ethiopia, Africa laboring for my son.  I was painfully awaiting his arrival into our family.

The word labor means “work, hard physical work”.  In scripture, God said that women would have pain in bringing forth children (Genesis 3:16).  Pain and labor are most definitely associated with extending our families through children.

While my labor and pain may not have been physical, there were still very difficult, anxious moments in bringing him home.  Over two years ago we started praying for this little boy, praying that God would grant us to extend our family.  During this time we have shed countless tears, prayed lots of prayers, and had many difficult days.  But today we are celebrating!  Today we are celebrating God, who has given Hudson Lee Wilson life and allowed him to be a part of this earthly family.

“Through him we have birth and life and every thing and every person in our lives.  So God is the reason we have anything to celebrate.  He is the ultimate source of any of our celebrations.”  -Noel Piper

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is not variation or shadow due to change.  James 1:17

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Receivers of Mercy, Givers of Thanks

A year ago, on Thanksgiving Eve, I was lying in the borrowed bed of my dear friend Ashlee in Washington D.C.  We were on the first leg of our trip to meet our children.  My eyes wouldn’t seem to close due to some obvious nervous anxiety and a bit of fear that we would oversleep and miss our flight. We didn’t miss our flight and as the story goes we met Roxie Kyle and Hudson for the first time.

Looking back it seems so far away and in some ways like a dream.  On this Thanksgiving Eve I’m not thousands of miles away from them but only a few feet.  I can hear Hudson’s even breathing on the monitor and see the nightlight shining beneath Roxie’s door.

Articulating all the emotions I’ve experienced through this process seem near impossible.  Even now, I fall short.  As simple as it sounds and during a season when at times we seem to throw around the words like confetti, I am truly thankful.  I truly feel am a receiver of mercy.  And as Charles H. Spurgeon says, “So as long as we are receivers of mercy we must be givers of thanks.”

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
We are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
And his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the Lord is good;
His steadfast love endures forever,
And his faithfulness to all generations.”
Psalm 100

Two gifts

Three weeks ago I was nervously wandering around a guest room in Ethiopia trying to focus on packing my suitcase.  My little one was gazing out the window periodically yelling, “Beep, beep”.  It was the beginning of a two day journey to bring our little boy home.  Such a time of emotions.

Late that night, when I sat down on the airplane in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with Hudson in my arms, overwhelmed with emotion, the tears started flowing (I did the same thing with Roxie).  A hard, ugly cry that I could not turn off.  Finally.  My family of four would soon be together.

We arrived safely home and reality starting sinking in.  The first week is the hardest.  It just is.  Without going into details it’s a challenging, joyous, straining, tiring, happy, overwhelming week.

But it’s under our belt and we are moving forward.

Now the second and third week are over and I still have to blink twice to believe that I have two one year olds standing at my feet begging to be picked up, hugged, kissed, rocked, played with . . .

Even through the transition, I couldn’t be happier that the Lord has blessed me in such a way that I get to be a part of Roxie Kyle and Hudson’s lives.  Recently, I read a blog post in which I was reminded that these children are gifts to enjoy, not tasks to complete.  This is definitely a reminder I need because I am such a to-do list person.  So today, on this first day of November, three weeks after being a mom of two “gifts” I am thanking God for all the blessings that flow from their lives being intertwined with mine.

Two sippy cups to keep full
Two car seats in my rearview mirror
Two mouths to feed
Two diapers to change
Two sets of teeth to brush
Two sounds of children’s laughter
Two personalities
Two voices calling for mama
Twenty fingernails and toenails to clip
Double the toys littering the floor

“Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.”

Psalm 30:4-5

I am yours

spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior
 
i will call upon your name
keep my eyes above the waves
my soul will rest in your embrace
i am yours and you are mine
(Hillsong United, Oceans)

Oh my. What a prayer. What truth.

This morning I’m feeling heavier than usual.  Discouraged that we still have not received the ok to pick up our son.  There is a sense of urgency, desperation for him to be with us, his family.  I can’t seem to stop the tears.

In the midst of this heaviness, I am still God’s and God is still mine.  He is my Savior. My Redeemer. My Strength. My wisdom. My Shepherd. My all.

The plans for my life and my son’s life were planned even before we were born (Psalm 139:16). He knows the exact moment when our lives will physically intersect.

Until that day I will continue to pray that He will “keep my eyes above the waves” (Psalm 25:25, Romans 8:5-11, Hebrews 12:2, Psalms 16:8, Colossians 3:2, Phillipians 4:8).

I will trust that “my soul will rest in your embrace” (Matthew 11:28-30, John 16:33).

I will believe that “my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior” (1 Peter 1:3-9).

Meet Hudson

But this I call to mind,
And therefore I have hope;
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.
The Lord is my portion says my soul,
Therefore I will hope in him.
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
To the soul who seeks him.
Lamentations 3:21-35

AMEN!

In early 2012 as I prayed for my son, I didn’t realize he would be preceded by a younger sister.  In May when we received “the call”, we were of course thrilled with our sweet little girl, Roxie Kyle.  However, the Lord wasn’t finished.  In August 2012 we received another call.  We knew there was a possibility of a second adoption, however at the time our minds were distracted.  Upon one look of another set of big, beautiful brown eyes we knew that this was the son we had been praying for.

Over two years ago B and I received the news that there would be some challenges involved in extending our family biologically.  At the time, a home full of children seemed bleak.  Just as Jeremiah did in Lamentations, we have had to recall God’s character many times; his grace, mercy, compassion, steadfast love, goodness, forgiveness, and truth.  Even in times of sorrow and hopelessness His loving-kindness has always been present.

These truths, these characteristics have been revealed to me in a fresh way through this adoption process.  I am reminded of this when I look at my son and his dimply grin.  I’m reminded that my hope is in Him.  He has entrusted this little man into our lives so that we may teach him about the character of God.  He has entrusted us to raise him under truth and salvation in Christ.  I am so very thankful for what God has already taught me through my son and it’s overwhelming that I am his mama.

Meet Hudson Joseph . . . he has a dimple that will melt your heart, a determined spirit, fascination with cell phones, and a contagious laugh.  He is officially and legally our son!

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been,Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!